Contentment...

I have been struggling lately...Struggling with allowing our nation's consumerist mindset to influence our buying choices and yet not allowing my kids to feel that we can't afford things because of a lack of money.  We took the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class this winter.  It was a wonderful class to focus our spending habits and get us on the path that we want to be on.  However, I end up telling the kids all the time, "Its not in the budget this month...maybe next month."  We talk about being content with what we have and how we are fortunate to have so much.

The reality is that we live so much better than most of the world...I mean, for goodness sakes, we have 'houses' for our cars!  We are blessed beyond measure.  Comparing ourselves to world equates to us living as royalty.  However, we live in the United States.  If you compare us to the Jones's, they look like they are living as royalty...multiple vehicles, tons of toys, vacations, etc.  But, we have clean water to drink, healthy food to eat, electricity, running water, a house with multiple rooms...so much more than the majority of the world's population.  We tell our kids all the time that we live like royalty.  We compare what we have to our sponsor children in 3rd world countries. We talk about their dad's trips to Haiti and what life is like there.  I believe we are making headway in building a heart for the world and building contentment in their lives.

Then things like birthdays happen.  The desire for more, more, more erupts like a plague.  E has been reading all the American Girl books this spring.  Her g'ma gave her a small, display-type AG doll and a couple of books.  She was so excited to find the postcard to send in to receive the actual AG catalog. Her dad helped her fill it out and get it ready to mail in.  Then mom struck...I made her cry without intending to...I felt so guilty.  But, I asked her if she could look through the magazine and be content just looking.  We discussed that the dolls and accessories are expensive and it wouldn't be the best use of the money that we have to purchase them at this point at time.  So, she could send away for the magazine, if she could still be content with what she had.  With tears in her eyes, she honestly replied, "No mommy.  I couldn't.  I won't send in the postcard."

Wow!  What honesty!  Broke my heart because in that moment all I wanted to do was buy her one of those dolls...and I thought to myself, 'How many times do I fail to do what she just did?  How many times do I know that it is not the best to do some online browsing because it fuels feelings of discontentment?  How many times do we run to the store and window shop for things?'  Ugh.  Her honesty cut me to the core.  She's smarter than I am about the cycle of (dis)contentment...or at least more honest.

As we work at building an attitude of thanksgiving and contentment within the kids, I'm also working at building it within myself.  Looking at E's honesty made me examine my own actions.  Is it true that window shopping doesn't hurt?  I think window shopping does hurt...it hurts the heart.  It makes me discontent with what I have and long for things that I don't need.  I have learned in the past few years that if I stay home, I don't spend money but maybe there is more to it.  Maybe I need to unsubscribe to a bunch of email lists...maybe I need to stop tempting myself when I know there isn't money in the budget for those unnecessary items of life.

Contentment...that is a tough order in today's society.  But, we are working on it.  Counting our blessings.  Choosing the wisest place for our money to go.  Comparing ourselves to the vast majority of the rest of the world and not the relative minority that seem to have everything.  I am certain it will be a constant battle throughout life but hopefully one that we can win.  I want our kids to focus on how much we have and are blessed with and not the things they feel that they are missing out on.  Contentment...it is a work in progress.